The Unseen Life, Part 13

There are certain arduous seasons in life that God will designate especially for our participation. Rarely, however, are these episodes pleasant or welcoming to the normal human endeavour. In fact, they are invariably costly in terms of our commitment and to our existing goals in life. Inevitably, many would eschew this path and perhaps avoid it altogether for an easier determinable outcome that suit our individualistic bent! Nevertheless, we are reminded that “the Holy Spirit works together in all things with those who love God, who are called according to His purpose” (Rom 8:28 in context). When we allow ourselves to pursue the course by obediently working in-step with His Holy Spirit, we will, in the long run, inevitably discover our own intransigence towards change and particular blind-spots. The outcome of our perseverance, however, is precious, as we begin to plumb the depths of our Father’s heart, thereby shearing away any un-Christlikeness that may perpetuate our existence apart from God; hence, to take up our own cross is to die to self.
 
Early this year, while in conversation with a good friend, I recalled God’s specific compassion to us as a family, through the twenty-odd years of looking after my mother at home. Particularly so when he shared that his own parent was in and out of hospitals and clinics each month as a result of multiple illnesses and Alzheimer’s.
 
While we were on an overseas assignment and unknown to us and herself, my mother, who was in her late 70s then, was grappling with early stage Alzheimer’s; the disease was gradually crippling her mental capacity. She had been losing her way home whenever she did her marketing, and would be wandering around the estate for hours before a kind neighbour or the police came to her assistance. Quite apart from leaving the gas stove alight while cooking and being distracted from the kitchen. As the only believer in the family, I had given mother an earlier undertaking that at any time she needed us, she should contact us. When her urgent request to return home to support her during her bouts of forgetfulness arrived at our overseas station, we immediately uprooted and flew home.
 
The decision to leave behind supportive colleagues, local friends, and a budding pioneering attempt at an unreached people group was difficult. My heart was initially cold towards mother’s caregiving, until I decided to fully embrace what God had for us. On hindsight, that willingness, unknown to me at the time, gave Him the opportunity to plunge us into His project with His palpable grace and love. 
 
As we began to fully comprehend mother’s predicament, we immediately moved her into our recently acquired small apartment. We watched her measured cognitive decline with alarm over the next few months, as her personality began to change. Her gentle yet firm persona turned aggressive and difficult at times. Feedback from her friends and ex-colleagues were mostly negative as we coped with her unfounded accusations against us. We attributed them to her mental status. Nevertheless, during her lucid moments, she indicated that she did not want to be sent to a nursing home for critical care.
 
I began researching into Alzheimer’s, with a perspective towards its prognosis and caregiving. Our social life was drastically curtailed and eventually became non-existent. Sunday services at church became a rarity for me as I took over the caregiving for the day. 
 
One night, at around 11.30pm, while sitting at my desk and wrestling with the thought of mother’s long-term care, I suddenly sensed an Entity in the dark corner of our bedroom. The vibes from the invisible presence was non-threatening; projecting immense love. I began tearing immediately as His perceptible love and empathy swept over me, igniting an overpowering consciousness of my own unworthiness. Initially, verbal communication was unnecessary, sensing His deep understanding of our predicament. However, I spoke first, “Is that You, Lord?” Instantly, He replied, “Yes. I am aware of your concerns. Don’t worry, Gerald, I will watch over your mother and teach you how to care for her.” Then, He left. Mother, at that time, had several major medical issues apart from Alzheimer’s. 
 
Mother stayed with us for over 22 years, and in that time, despite her gradual mental and physical deterioration, there were no doctor’s appointments made, no hospital admissions, and only one medical emergency. When she fell while wandering around the home late one night, sustaining a head injury, we called on our family doctor to attend to her. When the doctor arrived the following morning, the gash on mother's forehead had closed up and was healing well. God kept His promise to watch over her. 
 
Mother had emigrated from China, following the Communist Revolution, with my grandmother and a couple of younger siblings in tow. She was an accomplished art teacher at a Methodist high school. Her artistic talent can be seen in her interests in painting, embroidery, puppetry, crochet, tatting, patchwork, doll-making, leathercraft, woodwork, metal tooling, cookery, and gardening. As a caring person, she held her family together following my father’s early demise, and faithfully provided for her three children. 

When mother moved into our home, she brought with her her idol, a beautifully framed picture of her guru. However, a few months later, subsequent to a witness by an elderly couple, who were grateful for my psychological help in alleviating the wife's depression, mother decided to put her trust in Jesus. Due to her Alzheimer's, we were not entirely certain that she was fully cognisant of her decision at the time.  So, a couple of days later, we casually asked her about the photograph. She immediately instructed us to discard the picture, as her faith had changed. We were amazed how clear her decision was. 
 
The last year and the half were the most trying period, as mother’s lucid memory became a rarity, and she lost her ability to walk and swallow. Then, I went on a part-time work basis. During work days, rushing home after my daily psychology caseload at the office became a routine, to take over from my wife in mother's feeding, cleaning and bathing regimen. 
 
It was a late Wednesday afternoon and I was running a fever. Mother was in the next room; her breathing was heavier than usual. As I lay in bed, I suddenly heard mother’s voice in my head, “I‘m leaving now Gerald.” Instantly, I knew what she meant. I went into her room, and spoke closely into her ear, “Mother, thank you for all you have done for us. We’ll be OK. Go ahead, the Lord Jesus is waiting for you.” I held her hand, kissed her on her forehead, and watched her take her last breath. At 97 years of age, with Stage 7 Alzheimer's, she passed on peacefully. We are eternally grateful for God’s especial care over my mother for over twenty years. 
 
Note: This post is an elucidation of a couple of earlier posts.
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