The Unseen Life, Part 25

Ronald was 72 years of age and a former bank manager. He possessed a generous, caring, and kind spirit. As a new believer in our discipleship group, his excitement in learning how to walk and talk with his God was infectious. With his wife, Ron maintained an active lifestyle with his daily routine two hours’ morning walks through the week. However, possessing an ultra-lean frame, it was difficult to notice any discernable weight loss. There were no perceptible symptoms until two months ago, when suddenly Ron’s kidneys and bladder began to malfunction. Levels of discomfort varied through each day until it exceeded his tolerance level, compelling him to request for a medical referral. I contacted my cancer surgeon, and a speedy appointment was arranged. That was in late September.
 
Together with a urologist and a nephrologist, various scans and tests were done during the next fortnight. Abnormal cell growth was detected around Ron’s bladder. A biopsy taken in early October confirmed he had Burkitt Lymphoma, an aggressive and fast-growing type of non-Hodgkin lymphoma, characterised by rapid tumour growth. By then, Ron’s weakened constitution did not foster a positive prognosis.
 
Immediately, he was put on kidney dialysis, followed a few days later by an intensive first chemotherapy regimen, with a focus around his lower abdominal region. After a week, his kidney function improved, and he appeared to be responding well to the chemotherapy. He came off dialysis and was moved back to the normal ward from the intensive care unit. However, the side effects of chemotherapy had diminished his appetite and ability to eat. His weight plummeted further.
 
In mid-October, when Grace, Ron’s wife, arrived back from a lunch break one afternoon to his hospital ward, she found a group of doctors and nurses around his bed. He had suffered a cardiac arrest. She immediately summoned her two adult sons to the hospital. In shock and despair, Grace called me. The moment I came off the phone, I began praying, “Lord, You cannot let Ron just leave without some closure for his family. It’s too sudden, especially for Grace.” “Ron, you must come back to the ward, at least for a few final moments with your family.” After sixteen minutes, the doctors revived him. However, the excessive time lapse meant that Ron’s brain had suffered some impairment. He remained unconscious for two days as his organ systems began to progressively shut down. His family was able to bid him farewell in the intensive care ward. Ron teared. 
 
On a Friday afternoon, two weeks after Ron’s diagnosis for lymphoma, I suddenly sensed his presence at home. “Good-bye, Gerald.” He smiled. “Good-bye, Ron.” I broke down. Having regained my composure, I immediately texted his older son for an update on his father. Ron had just passed on. 
 
Life is incredibly precious and fragile! Grief, therefore, is customarily rooted within the human psyche for a diversity of losses. Even under the most predictable circumstances, the loss of those closest to us is invariably traumatic. We are informed that being angry with God is a norm with certain individuals during the mourning cycle. It is consequently crucial that we re-appraise and attempt to internalize the rationale for the brevity of our mortal life and its ultimate trajectory (c.f., Ps 115: 16; “The LORD cares deeply when his loved ones die”). As death is indubitable and is a passage of our existence within space and time into eternity, how we view this transition, despite raw bereavement, determines how we cope with an ongoing grieving process. For most, the struggle commences as a loved one passes on. In the context of human fallenness, Christ’s atoning sacrifice and triumphant resurrection for our sins and the stigma of death, become the basis for our earthly sojourn and future orientation (Col 2:13-14; 1Cor 15:56; 2Tim 1:10; John 11:25-26; c.f., Rom 6:9; Rev 1:18). For that reason, how we prepare for the next phase of spiritual life matters intensely. Hence, living in this interregnum must never be treated as a permanent state, despite its tenacious human attachments. Its temporal status is to be embraced with much grace, faith, and love in our Lord.
 
I am reminded of the provocative reply of Jesus when his disciples informed Him of the arrival of His mother and brothers in the crowd during one of His public ministry sessions; “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and whoever does not take up his cross and follow after me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” (Matt 10:37-39). The Lord was not disrespecting his earthly family. Our earthly human relationships remain a pale reflection of what it can be like when our Lord becomes our primary focus. He was emphasising that spiritual relationships through obedience to God are more important than physical or blood ties. This is challenging as we evaluate our essential devotion to our Saviour, the Alpha and Omega of creation, since it matters not only in the present but into eternity as well.